On behalf of Joseph R. Schmitz of Schmitz Law, P.C. posted in divorce on Tuesday, June 26, 2018.

Is it shameful to admit when things didn’t work out the way you imagined? It may be easy for someone on the outside to judge your divorce from an external position. Even you yourself can fall into a pit of shame and emotional suffering when you feel you let yourself down. However, marriages are never a guarantee, they are a leap of faith, hope and love. We leap towards something, and in the end, it can result in you and your ex-spouse going your separate ways and that’s okay.

There is enough turmoil surrounding a separation and divorce to become suffocated with the shame of it. You can grieve the death of a relationship, and it is healthy to do so. But remember to let go of the shame that wants to latch onto you and harass you away from social circles and into a den of depression.

Embrace community 

Shame isolates and holds you back from getting the help and healing you need during this time. Perhaps you are hiding from the critical opinions and guilt that you are likely to get from certain people. It is understandable go into full protection mode with your tender life transition. To press into a welcoming community of others who are on the same journey or who can provide encouragement for having come out of a similar situation.

Shame isolates and holds you back from getting the help and healing you need during this time.

Boost your self-care

The importance of practicing self-care is huge during the hardest and most stressful times of your divorce process. Remembering to love and nurture yourself with quality sleep, exercise and nutrition is vital. There are no excuses that negate its importance. When you are investing in your own well-being, you will show up as a stronger, more resilient person in all aspects (physical, mental and spiritual).

The truth is, you are not alone in your divorce and that word neither defines your self-worth nor predicts your future. When you settle the inner storm of emotions on the inside, you will exude that confidence to others. Family, friends, co-workers, parishioners and strangers will all pick up on your inner peace and their words, opinions and judgements will not poison your spirit. Your inner acceptance and love makes you untouchable to negativity. When the shame is let go, the healing and wholeness can emerge. It is possible.

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