Three Keys to a Successful Marriage
A divorce attorney’s website might seem like an odd place to find an article describing the ways by which one can avoid hiring a divorce attorney. Divorce is oftentimes a messy and destructive process, and in many instances, it can be avoided, saving a couple and their children the trauma that frequently accompanies a divorce. So, here we go – three steps you can take to avoid ever having to hire a divorce attorney:
Be intentional.
We hear this said all the time. Be intentional about what you eat, and you’re less likely to become overweight. Be intentional about your workouts, and you’ll derive greater benefits from your workout. Be intentional about budgeting, and you’ll discover financial freedom. The same is true in marriage. Be intentional about learning what your spouse needs and then actually meeting those needs. Be intentional about engaging in arguments fairly – no low-blows that cause deep wounds. Be intentional about loving your spouse each day. Be intentional about speaking their love language, even when you’ve had a hard day at work.
It’s not about you.
One of the greatest falsehoods that a married couple can adopt as truth is that marriage is about me. My happiness and my self-fulfillment. As soon as one or both spouses make the marriage all “about me,” the marriage is on its way to failure. If you live selflessly and focus on your spouse’s happiness and fulfillment, then as you grow together there will develop a beautiful dance of each striving to meet the other’s needs such that – in fact – you will both find genuine and enduring joy and fulfillment in your marriage.
Don’t center your marriage around your children.
If you don’t set aside the necessary time to care for your marriage, such that it creates discord and may eventually end in divorce, then you’ve overridden whatever short-term benefits your children might have received through their numerous activities. The greatest gift or blessing that you can give your children is a healthy marriage. No scars will come to your child if he doesn’t play on the travel ball team, but the scars of divorce last a lifetime.
It’s hard work, but the rewards are worthwhile.
These three marriage hacks are just the tip of the iceberg. Marriage is hard – no denying that. But when two people are willing to put in the hard work that builds an enduring marriage, the fruits of that labor are bountiful. What’s next? Perhaps you could start by asking your spouse to go on a date, grab some dinner and then head over to Barnes and Noble (or whatever your favorite book store is) and grab a couple of books that will help you develop your marriage in a strong union, capable of weather the greatest of life’s storms. Need a recommendation? I highly recommend all three of the following books:
- Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
- 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- The Love Dare by Alex Kendrick
Of course, there are certainly times when separation is unavoidable, and you reach the conclusion that you may need to speak with a divorce attorney. When that time comes, the divorce attorneys at Schmitz Law are here to help you. Our compassionate attorneys will listen to your story and help you identify ways to best close your current chapter in life and to start writing your next chapter. You can reach us at 336-714-2380 or by completing our online contact form.
This article is not intended to give, and should not be relied upon for, legal advice in any particular circumstance or fact situation. No action should be taken in reliance upon the information contained in this article without obtaining the advice of an attorney.